


One Day

by agent_of_marvel



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Depression, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 01:10:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3671883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agent_of_marvel/pseuds/agent_of_marvel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn’t really understand it, the technical term for that dark heavy feeling he gets in the pit of his stomach, but then again, who really does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Day

**Author's Note:**

> so its 4:30 am and i wanted to put something up bc i was sad and this is kinda what i feel like when I'm sad?? so yeaa

He doesn’t really understand it, the technical term, but then again, who really does. 

All he does understand is that dark feeling he gets in the pit of his stomach.

Dark, heavy, empty. What ever you wanna call it, because any of those words can describe it perfectly. 

He’s not sad, per se, just not happy.

Sometimes, he’s not even anything.

Just an object.

An asset. 

Then the memories come back.

And the dark feeling in his stomach grows and he becomes angry.

At HYDRA.

At the world.

At himself.

For what he did, or what they made him do, as Steve likes to put it.

“It wasn’t your fault.” He’ll say.

“You held the gun, but they pulled the trigger.” Nat would say sometimes. 

But she’s wrong, they both are.

He pulled the trigger. He held the gun. 

Once he gets that in his head it takes days to get them out. To get him to realize that Steve and Nat and everyone else is right.

And that dark and heavy thing in his stomach gets a bit lighter.

It’s still there, and he still gets sad sometimes. And he still has bad days, which may turn into worse days.

But he smiles just a bit, and talks a bit louder for people to hear. 

And one day, maybe one day, he will finally fully convince himself that it wasn’t his fault at all.

Because he knows that the day he believes that, that darkness will completely go away.


End file.
